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What is #Abuse? #Mental #Emotional #HealthyRelationships #Changing Perceptions #Wellbeing



Hello 

This short blog post is a follow-on from the Easter message, in that Jesus came to earth to give us all life in spite of our circumstances. 

Abuse has been a common recurring theme in my life- I felt compelled to share some of my thoughts, in hope to raise awareness on this subject. 

Abuse as defined by: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/abuse
to use something for the wrong purpose in a way that is harmful or morally wrong: She is continually abusing her position/authority by getting other people to do things for her.

Psychological and mental abuse is usually endured over a systematic & for prolonged periods. In other words there is a pattern of behaviour in this individual that can be considered as unpleasant or dysfunction that can have an adverse impact on one’s health & wellbeing. 

I have found a correlation between narcissism and the abusive nature of one self, common traits includes a lack of empathy for others, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships.  Narcissists are actually secure or have an overly inflated ego usually disproportionate to the reality of self at both levels. Narcissists tend to be defensive when their self-esteem is threatened; narcissists can be aggressive- or even passive aggressive from experience. Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder. 

A misuse of power in an attempt to control & manipulate an individual. For example, if you take advantage of the easy-going nature individual through mind games or deliberately changing the goal posts in order to justify so called criticism or a blow up (set-up) – Natalie Lue. An isolated incident usually does not as constitute abuse. For example, we all say things that we regret in the heat of the moment or taken out our stresses on something that we should not have. 

Breaking down an individual’s ability to think and be is cruel, inhuman & despicable on every level in a civilised society it shouldn’t be tolerated or condoned with the aim to massage one’s ego or self-gratification. On a sustained bases it can deplete & diminish one’s ability into inability this is the impact of being controlled unnecessarily. It is usually coupled with an overbearing stance of self-righteous / self-importance. The bottom line is how does this makes the victim feel? If you disregard or dismiss one’s feeling (lacks empathy) then I would question the motivation of such treatment- most decent human being would be concerned if the behaviour is causing discomfort to one. 

I suspect the overly critical nature of a partner / boss, even over the smallest issue is really telling on the true effects of such narcissist abusiveness. Abusiveness doesn’t have to be name calling, it’s using every part of your body to project fear and discomfort- with the intention to paralyse one’s mind so one can surrender and be submissive to kill every bit of life of one self is more debilitating than physical abuse because it is black and white- we are talked from a young age, it’s wrong to hit end of. 

To imprison one’s mind through manipulation, coercion & other underhand tactics to gain control for one’s mind is a slow painful death because once you lose freedom, a basic human right to what we all should have. More so the tactics are usually very subtle- the perpetrator quite often leaves no trace or leaves traces that can be easily challenged based on one’s subjectivity. 

Note to my younger self: 

Any type of relationship we have should always add to our life, in that we are at peace with that person. The peace starts with energy- how does this person makes you feel? The energy of one person is very telling on future behavior & tendencies. The universe is warning you of potential dysfunction or dangers of this individual this is also known as intuition or gut feeling. The unprecedented self-love should safe guard you against harm. In other words approach this individual with caution. 

In the workplace, is not always that straightforward, so reaching out to trusted friends & colleagues is essential. Be proactive in safeguarding your well-being, keep a log express those feelings / emotions in a productive way. Drawing on your faith, if you have one can also be very helpful in connecting our body, soul & spirit for strength & hope. When life gets tough it’s even more important we draw on all the resources we have, to keep ourselves together/balanced. 

Thank you for reading this and I would encourage you all to share and comment, it’s only by having these conversations we start to influence and impact change for better tomorrow and the next generation. 

Best wishes

KIMI X

For more inspiring thoughts & ideas:
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Love to connect, let me know your thoughts, any favourite blogs so far & why? 

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