A book review – Part One - Dealing with Disappointment by John Hindley

This book was a relatively easy read with the simple idea that leaves you to question: is life just one big disappointment? 

In many ways it does seem so; the author delves into different areas of disappointment in our lives. I suspect most if not all are relatable to everyone. Firstly, the author says we actually should be disappointed by life, as things are not as good as they should be. We live in a frustrated and frustrating world; the frustration is because of the fallen world when sin entered humanity. We all carry this divinely inbuilt sense that the world should and could be better.

The book goes on to say that on the other hand, we are sometimes too disappointed with life.  We expect satisfaction from other areas of lives to overcompensate for this.  When this satisfaction is denied, it starts an over-disappointed cycle. For example, I came across a thread where the mum wrote in and expressed disappointment in her children’s grades, which led her to question herself as a mother. This is a great example of knowing the truth, which is every relationship is imperfect, a perfect relationship does not exist on this earth, and hence disagreements, arguments and fall outs are common occurrences.

In this case, the mother is clearly devoted to her children and her intentions are honourable. However, no one will ever satisfy your deepest needs or fill that void that you have been longing for in the way that you need; such person does not exist. If you don’t believe this, over disappointment in people, maybe an inevitable occurrence. Sure, life can be painful and disappointing but it can also be argued that we expect too much from our relationships or life in general. Therefore, our core identity needs to be as a child of God – it is only Him who can satisfy our deepest desires.

Disappointment is vast but when we know Christ and learn to lean into Him we keep disappointments in manageable proportions. They don’t cancel out our joy because it’s through Him we are strengthened. Disappointment is very much part of life, as we weren’t made for the world that we are today. Disappointment is very real and it’s rooted in sin – behaviours that against God’s plan and the result of those, such as premature deaths, famine and war. 

If disappointment has taken away our joy almost on a daily basis then we may need to look at the why i.e. we have probably turned away from God or have not taken our feelings to God. When the order of our lives becomes disjointed and God slips from our priorities then disappointments usually follow. Because if our eyes are not on God then it’s likely that we are caught up in earthly things – the stuff that has a shelf life and not eternity.  In contrast, the things that God offers are deeply satisfying to the soul. 

Recommended book: