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Reflecting on the journey so far-healing and restoring.......

I have been relentlessly plugging positive thinking, through various sources (please see previous posts). There has been a real shift in my mindset, which empowered me to start healing and thinking in a limitless way. 

Given the past cannot be change or rewritten, the best thing I can do is protect myself against future harm and use my experiences to strengthen me. I have been inspired me to let go of the past, so I can live my future. A quote I came across, seem to very fitting to me at this very moment in time. 'You cannot start a new chapter if you keep reading the last one'-unknown. I accept the hurt and anger that I endured over the years. I saw a pattern forming stemming from my dysfunctional childhood, which had either a direct or indirect impact to who I am , where I am today, through the choices I made.

 Going to university was my big break, studying has been my sanctuary to restore structure and meaning to my life. Nearly a decade after graduation, I found myself left with a child to support and restarting my life again. It was an uphill struggle, after a few years of temping and short term work I finally had a big break of a permanent contract. The joy was short lived, as I very quickly picked up on the dysfunction and drama of day to day office life. Two of the biggest challenges I encountered was micro-management and the presence of a brown nosing culture. Needless to say I didn't cope too well and it wasn't long before I was mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted. 

 After a few month's of suffering in silence I confided in a colleague, it felt good to offload this burden I was carrying. However it didn't change the realities of the constant unnecessary meddling and managing for the sake of managing. As a matter of principle I didn't agree to X and Y of the suggestions because it was unjustified and it was only to satisfy someone's need to explain their existence. Given the over-arching culture is very much of the same, I resigned on the bases that it took away my freedom to think and be. 

 I am pleased to report that 6 month's on- I haven't looked back. I plugged positive thinking as if my life depending on it because I was not going to let other people's short-comings or choices, rob me of my peace-Dalai Lama. 





Best wishes

 KIMI






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